Monday, December 22, 2008

Legendary Lorne

It was exactly four years ago when we attended a fateful Christmas party here at Bill's house where we now live. I didn't know anyone there, didn't want to go, and basically self-medicated with beer to just get myself in the door. But of course it was great; people we felt comfortable with, no pretentiousness, good laughs. I made two of my closest friends of the past four years within an hour of arriving at that party: our gracious landlord Bill, and Lorne, who got a great kick out of finding out that we had grown up 20 miles apart in southern Manitoba. I had never had friendships develop that quickly.

A couple of years ago, we had to say goodbye to Bill, Rose and Sam when they moved to Vancouver. This week, we said goodbye to Lorne and Nada and their girls as they moved back to Altona. For someone like me who finds it difficult to make friends, losing them is especially hard. Yeah, we can keep in touch (although Lorne doesn't e-mail, and I don't do the phone) and see each other once a year or so, but Lorne and I had built our friendship around getting together once or twice a week, often with the kids or out to the pub after they were asleep. Hard to replicate that a few provinces away. I tried not to grieve it too much in advance.

It certainly doesn't help to mope, so this week I'm remembering good times and being thankful for the fun we had. The memories blur together because many were repeated dozens of times -- meeting at the beach for the afternoon to combine our chaos, beers at the Perch with Andrew, sitting in one of our kitchens or backyards, analyzing our days while the girls ran wild. The girls don't have cousins close by, and the Hildebrands became family to us. Families change, and although we'll miss them, we wish them the best in the next chapter of their lives.


Chris said...'s to fast friends and taking chances to meet them!

Merry Christmas and happy new year to you guys. Hope to see you again in 2009.

Jeremy said...

A suitable toast from a friend connected in unconventional ways. Thank you, and same to you and your crew.

Nikki and Shane said...

Good to chat with you - even just very briefly tonight Jer. Hope that you guys had a relaxing Christmas.

It's awful having to say goodbye to friends. We had to do that a couple years ago. It's way easier being the ones doing the leaving, I find, because you have something new and exciting to look forward to whereas when you are left it feels very empty. I totally sympathize.

Nice of you to put in writing how you feel.

Jeremy said...

Glad to hear your voice too, Nicole. I would have loved to click a button on a Star Trek transporter and join you for presents and feasting at Grandma's.

And yes, you're right -- it's much harder to be left behind. Sounds like you've experienced both.

Bill said...

Good lord, Lorne looks hunky in that picture.

Left behind or being left behind, what's worse.... the debate rages in my mind Jeremy, 'cause don't forget that the nature of the journey profoundly influences that dynamic too!

Jeremy said...

'Tis true Bill...the reasons for leaving matter too. And it's always more complex, with all kinds of emotions stewing no matter what the background. I suspect that for people with lots of friends, and who make friends easily, being "left behind" is no big deal.

And agreed, Lorne does look great in the photo. I'd had that one sitting around for a few months, waiting for a post like this.